A couple months ago I was able to go on a bike ride with my wonderful 10 year old grandson. Cruising along under a gorgeous canopy of spring green trees, he graciously kept pace with his slow-cycling Nana as we chatted about life.
He has known of my cancer since he was 7 and has prayed for me many times. The setting was inspiring and peaceful and I loved having him all to myself. We talked of school and sports until he sweetly asked, "So Nana, are you all better now?"
How do you answer that? Many options jumped into my mind... but I took the easy way out:
"Yes, I feel great today! It's been wonderful to be able to do all the fun things we've done this weekend. I'm so grateful for all your prayers and all the family's prayers. I feel 100% as good as I can feel!"
Then I felt guilty for glossing over the unknown future and said, "But I also know that sometimes things don't happen the way we'd like them to and I want to be happy with whatever Heavenly Father has in store for me. If I have cancer because I'm going to learn something important for me to learn then I want to have courage and be strong - strong enough to learn what I am supposed to learn. If God is trying to teach me patience or tolerance or to endure to the end.... then I want to learn those qualities and become a better person. I wouldn't tell God PLEASE don't teach me patience or tolerance! I would just pray to be able to learn quickly, haha!"
He kind of chuckled and nodded his head. I'm not sure he really understood but it was so grand to have a chance to express my thoughts to him. And if he faces something difficult someday, which is highly likely, for all of us, I hope he thinks of our conversation and finds the courage to learn what he's supposed to learn.
