Happy 40th Anniversary to us! (LDS Temple Blessings)

Family Photo

Forty years ago, my sweet husband and I drove to the Salt Lake LDS Temple on a beautiful, snowy morning to make sacred commitments to each other. We were sealed together for time and all eternity in a covenant that would include our children and their children and so on. The knowledge that our family is an eternal family comforts me and gives me courage to press forward through the next weeks and months of lost abilities and good health.

"In the temple husbands, wives, and children are sealed so that they can remain a family even after this life. It is this desire for united, enduring relationships with loved ones and with God that draws people to the temple and its eternal, binding promises."

https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/temples

Photo by Lance Bertola
https://www.ldstemple.pics/store/salt-lake-temple-glimmer-of-hope/
https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/temples

My wise and deeply spiritual friend, Mary McConkie Donoho, taught me that the best way to learn is by asking basic questions before you begin studying. I was preparing a lesson on temples for Relief Society and asked the basics: Who? What? When? Where? and Why? 

If you've been to the temple and made those specific promises you will find the parallels interesting and reassuring. It has ever been thus... the principles and covenants we make have been everlasting and eternal. 

1) Who built the first temple? What? When? Where?

The very first people commanded to build a place to worship were Adam and Eve when they were cast out of the Garden of Eden. They built an altar to make "offerings" on. We know that they were not able to see God physically. 

And Adam and Eve, his wife, called upon the name of the Lord, and they heard the voice of the Lord from the way toward the Garden of Eden, speaking unto them, and they saw him not; for they were shut out from his presence. And he gave unto them commandments, that they should worship the Lord their God, and should offer the firstlings of their flocks, for an offering unto the Lord. 

Pearl of Great Price: Moses 5:4-5

2) Why did Adam build the altar?

Because he was obedient.. We read in Moses 5:6  

"And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me."

Adam's answer reveals his commitment to obedience. He sacrificed for "many days" before an angel of the Lord appeared unto him. In fact, we know that Adam was a grandfather before he even knew WHY he was sacrificing!

The first two principles of temple worship are 

SACRIFICE and OBEDIENCE.

Operationterra.org

When the children of Israel were traveling in Egypt the Lord commanded them to build a "moveable" place to worship, a "house built to the name of the Lord" and they called it a sanctuary. It served as their temple for 500 years.

In Exodus 25:8 "And let them make me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them."

1 Chronicles 22:19 "Now set your heart and your soul to seek the Lord your God; arise therefore, and build ye the sanctuary of the Lord God, to bring the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and the holy vessels of God, into the house that is to be built to the name of the Lord."

The third principle of temple worship is SANCTUARY.

I love these quotes from different prophets in S. Michael Wilcox's book about the House of The Lord speaking of the temple as a house of protection, healing and refuge: 

Ezra Taft Benson said "Let us make the temple a sacred home away from our eternal home. This temple will be a standing witness that the power of God can stay the power of evil in our midst. Many parents within and without the church are concerned about protection against a cascading avalanche of wickedness which threatens to engulf Christian principles. There is a power associated with the ordinances of heaven, even a power of godliness, which can and will thwart the forces of evil if we will be worthy of those sacred blessings. 

This community will be protected. Our families will be protected. Our children will be safeguarded as we live the gospel, visit the temple and live close to the Lord. 

Boyd K Packer said, "No work is more of a protection to this church than temple work and the genealogical research which supports it. No work is more spiritually refining, no work we do gives us more power, no work requires a higher standard of righteousness, but the work, although demanding carries with it wonderful benefits.

Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people. 

George Q Cannon promised that when other temples will be completed an increase of power will be bestowed upon the people of God and they will be better fitted to cope with the powers of darkness and the evils that exist in the world. I do not think it is coincidental that as we see the powers of the adversary increase, that also the number of temples is increasing. 

Widstoe: Men and women grow mighty and more powerful through temple service until the devil has less influence than he ever had before.

All those who faithfully attend to temple work will have unseen angels to watch over their loved ones when satanic forces tempt them. 

Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone

"Recognize that when you left the temple on the day you were endowed, you left with promises from the Lord directly to you. Not promises made to some ancient prophet or people, but promises made to you. The temple’s purpose is to bring us unto Christ so that we might be redeemed."

http://www.ldsliving.com/3-Things-to-Understand-About-Your-Temple-Endowment/s/79806

"Let us be a temple-attending and a temple-loving people. Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow. Let us go not only for our kindred dead, but let us also go for the personal blessing of temple worship, for the sanctity and the safety which are provided within those hallowed and consecrated walls. The temple is a place of beauty; it is a place of revelation; it is a place of peace. It is the house of the Lord."

Howard W. Hunter Ensign Mar 2004

"The temple helps us understand God’s expectations for His children from an eternal perspective. In temples baptisms are performed for ancestors to give deceased relatives the opportunity to accept blessings of eternity. In the temple, husbands, wives, and children are sealed so that they can remain a family even after this life. It is this desire for united, enduring relationships with loved ones and with God that draws people to the temple and its eternal, binding promises."

https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/temples

Spokane, WA Temple - lds.org

Manti, UT Temple - Instagram @housesofthelord

Vanity or Sanity?

The oncologist called the lump in my neck the equivalent of a canary in a coal mine. Evidence that things were not going well. What was the size of a pea a month ago was now the size of a grape. My right shoulder and arm were hurting the exact same way they were when a tumor had taken over my vertebrae requiring surgery, which I did NOT want to endure again. The increasing pain had caused me to give in to ever increasing pain meds. We knew the scans weren't going to be good and honestly thought we might have reached the point where nothing but pain management was an option. 

Instagram: Quote by Robert D. Hales

As we had suspected, tumors new and old were growing rapidly. Tumors that were millimeters were now centimeters. Imagine my surprise when the doctor suggested chemotherapy as a way to manage the pain. That didn't make sense to me?

"Why now and not in June?" I asked. 

"Because your tumors were stable in June and you still had good quality of life."

"What if I still don't want to do chemotherapy?"

"Well, the tumors in your liver are going to inhibit your ability to handle the toxins in your blood and you will turn yellow, be out of it, and possibly combative. It's fine for you, because you're out of it, but it's extremely difficult for the caregivers and I would want to put that off as long as possible. Of course, it is your choice but I will insist that you at least do radiation on the tumor on your adrenal gland. That is going to be very painful if you don't do something."

Instagram

Now what... 

My sweet husband was not going to insist that I do chemotherapy but he was oh so hopeful that I would at least try. Dr. Grossman had assured me I would only have a few bad days and feel mostly good between the 3 week treatments. 

Don't believe anyone who tells you this.  

One of the things I have been most worried about is scaring my grandchildren with my appearance. Yellow and bald... All I can think is that my new nickname will be "minion..." 

I talked to my niece who had gone through chemotherapy wearing a polar ice cap and was able to keep her hair. She was encouraging and made it seem like a reasonable effort to make. We went to the temple and I felt peace about at least trying. 

We rented the caps and bought 50 pounds of dry ice. https://penguincoldcaps.com We took two large coolers with the four gel caps, the headbands, the velcro straps, the thermometer that allowed us to keep the caps at -22 F, an electric blanket to keep me warm and the leather gloves required to handle the ice. My husband, daughter Kate and sister Megan changed the caps every 20 minutes for the next 12 HOURS! Such selfless angels. I can't even begin to thank them enough. 

My husband, who I believe truly WILL love my yellow and bald head, was especially reluctant about this intense effort to keep my hair. He kept muttering, "Vanity... I'll love you no matter how you look."  I kept countering with, "NOT vanity... it's my SANITY we're talking about here. If I lose my hair, then I lose it and it wasn't meant to be but THANK you for trying with me."

One good thing about having a physician for a husband is they know their way around a medical institution's jargon. One bad thing about having a physician for a husband is the nurses assume you know the same things your husband knows. And you don't. There were things I definitely didn't know when we went home.

I woke up the morning after the chemo feeling fabulous! I cleaned house, did the dishes and washed clothes! I was ready to take on projects! My burst of energy was very short-lived.

My husband had come home early to take care of me and after his first declaration of love and gratitude that I am still here with him, observed that I was having an allergic reaction to the chemo and immediately put me on allergy medication. 

What??? Noooo!!! 

From that point on, I basically slept the days away. Totally exhausted and constantly nauseous, I didn't even leave my room for the next three days. I didn't/couldn't respond to my phone and barely surfaced when family came to visit. My sweet daughter made us dinner and stroked my hair during the LDS Church Devotional while I tried to keep food down.

What do we learn from the experiences life brings us? What we want to take in, I suppose. I wish the world to know of my testimony of the Savior. I have no where else to turn. He is my EVERYTHING. I'm putting ALL my faith and hope in Him. When I feel torn apart by the disaster coming, I cling to the knowledge that the Savior has experienced EVERYTHING I will. For LOVE! He is the light of the world, GIVEN for us!

Yesterday I spent the whole morning listening to one Christmas song after another in praise of this season of Nativity. I wondered what the word "Noel" means? From the earliest known English and French carols using the word it has meant the good news of the nativity! When we sing NOEL we wish the world to know of the good news of the Savior's birth, life, and incomprehensible miracle of the resurrection, literally lifting us ALL from the grave.

Christ, the everlasting Lord will reign forever more. I hope to be in that audience, on my knees, filled with the joy of success in overcoming this earthly trial. I don't know how much longer or how much more I will need to endure, but I say unto you, "NOEL!"

Click here to listen to "Noel" by Lauren Diagle

I have faith and hope and pray for charity that my circle of life may be complete. I pray for all of us that we may find peace in the trust we can have in His Atonement and redeeming love. I say these things, in His name, amen.

Live It To Share It

Elder Robert D. Hales - a Tribute

“We can share the gospel only to the extent we live it.”

This quote embodies my whole desire in writing this blog. That I can express my testimony as I live it, now with a terminal illness as the driving force, it is very compelling to share the beliefs that ground me and lift me at the same time. 

This is a family photo of me with Steven C. Hales on Halloween in 1958. I was a tiger and he was a ghost. We didn't like our masks. 

Our parents were close friends before we were born, getting their college education at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City and later living near each other in Boston as they furthered their professional careers through additional education. 

Photo: lds.org

Even though the above photo is the only memory I have of being together Boston, we became friends through the years of their many moves around the world because of the effort they made to stop and visit us whenever they came through Utah.

Family Photo

I remember Steve bringing his brother, David, and friend, George, to ski with us and how well he handled the steep slopes here in Utah. Because he had lived all over the world, I was always grateful to hear his perspective from the "mission field" and it helped my testimony grow as we shared time together at BYU. 

One of those trips to Utah was because his father had been called to the First Quorum of the Seventy, then Presiding Bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and then later as an Apostle, serving in the Quorum of the Twelve. I'm so grateful that God has placed those kind of friends in my life and when Mike and I were trying to decide where to practice medicine, my parents happened to be getting together with the Hales and we heard some great advice, which later became Elder Hales's conference address, "Making Decisions at the Crossroads of Life" given in October of 1988. Click here to read full address

His wife, Mary, is the perfect example of a righteous woman in every way. One time someone asked her, "What is it like to be married to an apostle?" Her reassuring and encouraging answer has stayed with me, "Well, he wasn't an apostle when I married him."

He continued to give us good advice as I navigated those early parenting years. This is an excerpt from a favorite talk of his:

"I join with faithful parents everywhere in declaring that we know who we are, we understand our responsibilities as parents, and we do not fear the wrath of the prince of darkness. We trust in the light of the Lord.

Like Jochebed, (Moses's mother) we raise our families in a wicked and hostile world—a world as dangerous as the courts of Egypt ruled by Pharaoh. But, like Jochebed, we also weave around our children a protective basket—a vessel called “the family”—and guide them to safe places where our teachings can be reinforced in the home and at church.

Ultimately, we guide them to the greatest of all houses of learning—the holy temple, where one day they can kneel, surrounded by their faithful family members, to be sealed for time and all eternity to a worthy companion. What they learned from us, they will teach their children, and the work of eternal families will go on.

Along the way, at times when our children are away from us, the Lord provides inspired “Miriams” to watch over them—special third-party helpers such as priesthood and auxiliary leaders, teachers, extended family, and worthy friends. Sometimes the Spirit prompts us as parents to seek special help beyond ourselves through such resources as doctors and qualified counselors. The Spirit will direct when and how such help should be obtained.

But the greatest help for our families comes through the gospel—from our Heavenly Father, through the guidance of the Holy Ghost, in the doctrines and principles, and through the priesthood.
To read the whole talk click here.

When my Dad passed away in April of 2009, Elder Hales spoke at his funeral about families and the eternal love we can share with them and our friends. Such a comforting doctrine as I face this time of separation from them. 

He reminded us of the promises in Alma 40-42, that the Resurrection will restore our bodies to their perfect state. That is good for me to remember every time I look in the mirror, too. ;)










It was a bittersweet moment when I walked into Seminary and saw his picture missing from the wall of apostles. His wisdom had been a guide for so many years and I enjoyed reading his quotes and talks again. He faced painful health challenges that caused him to express this great thought.

"I learned that constant, intense pain is a great consecrating purifier that humbles us and draws us closer to God’s Spirit.”³³













In spite of having cancer for four years, it has just been since February that I have faced constant, intense pain-- taking all your focus to what you can do to get through the next hour, or minute sometimes. I loved reading that quote from him then realizing that the Savior knows what it feels like too, and can comfort me in the ways that I need.

The week Elder Hales passed away, we took four of our children through the Latter Day Saint temple on Oahu, Hawaii where the flag was flown at half mast to honor him and the marvelous life he led. I will always remember coming home from that joyous experience and then watching his funeral, filled with gratitude that he had been such a big part of my spiritual growth and maturation. 

See the beautiful tribute the church made for him at this link:

Remembering the life of Robert D. Hales

"This is the call of Christ to every Christian today: 'Feed my lambs... Feed my sheep' - share my gospel with young and old, lifting, blessing, comforting, encouraging, and building them, especially those who think and believe differently than we do," he taught.
Regarding those who "want us to come down off the high ground and join them in a theological scrum in the mud," Elder Hales counseled Latter-day Saints to respond with their testimonies and to stand with the Savior.
"We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage."

Just as the Savior was "despised and rejected of men" (Isaiah 53:3; Mosiah 14:3), Latter-day Saints may also experience misunderstanding, criticism, and false accusation. "It is our sacred privilege to stand with Him!"

Another excerpt I love on the topic of "prayer" by Elder Hales:

Though we may not know when or how our prayers will be answered, Elder Hales testified, answers will come in the Lord’s own way and according to His timetable. “For some answers we may have to wait until the hereafter. . . . Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary.”³⁶


"In my life I have learned that sometimes I do not receive an answer to a prayer because the Lord knows I am not ready. When he does answer it, it is often "here a little and there a little" because that is all I can bear or all I am willing to do. Too often we pray for patience, but we want it right now."

Moses counseled, “And thou shalt teach [these words] diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”8 Our families should be in our thoughts continually.

I bear my special witness that Jesus Christ gave His life, making possible the salvation and exaltation of all the families of the earth. With all the feeling of a tender parent, I express my love and the love of our Heavenly Father to you and your family.

This is a good reminder for me at this point in my life as I face yet another challenge. Chemotherapy, with all its undesirable side effects, is my only option to slow the growth and relieve pain. I need to "know whether to fight, flee, or go with the flow of my unfolding circumstances."




I'm posting some of my favorite quotes from Elder Hales I found on Instagram. Each a gem of wisdom that has meaning for me as I navigate this cancer journey.

And last but not least... his final words that inspire me to have faith that I may stand in His presence in some not very far off day.