Irony Bites...

IRONY BITES….

"Irony - The Crust on the Bread of Adversity" by Neal Maxwell was given when my life was rife with irony and I absorbed these words like a sponge. 

"Irony may involve not only unexpected suffering but also undeserved suffering. We feel we deserved better, and yet we fared worse. We had other plans, even commendable plans. Did they not count? 

At the end, meek and lowly Jesus partook of the most bitter cup without becoming the least bitter. The Most Innocent suffered the most. Yet the King of Kings did not break, even when some of His subjects did unto Him “as they listed.” (D&C 49:6.) Christ’s capacity to endure such irony was truly remarkable.
You and I are so much more brittle. For instance, we forget that, by their very nature, tests are unfair."

These past few weeks have brought irony back like an old friend returning from a long vacation, so I looked this talk up again, for comfort. Life has changed so much with the passing of time and I've long moved beyond the situations he addressed so well, but the last paragraph will probably apply the rest of my life. #mamabearshame

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/irony-the-crust-on-the-bread-of-adversity?lang=eng

The Biology of Courage and Resilience

Would you rather have bad news by text or phone call? I think text. It gives you a minute to collect your thoughts. Well maybe not a minute but at least a second or two. I got a text this morning that took my breath away. The irony of the whole situation was stunning. She had just gotten engaged, finally reaching a place of contentment she had been waiting for, for so long… and then the news that she had cancer. What do you say? What are the words? Well, there aren't any. Only tears.

My mind immediately flashed back to the day I got the news and all the conflicting emotions that flood your heart and mind. It's funny how people react to bad news so differently. It doesn't say a thing about their spirituality at all. Whether they break down hysterically, close down stoically or something inbetween, it's just a fascinating response, unpredictable until you are there yourself.

I absolutely love this video my daughter pointed out to me. Viewing my body's response to stress as a God-given way to find courage and resilience is very motivating. I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.html

Notes from the video:

It's been said that stress can kill you. An interesting study found that people who experienced a lot of stress but did not view stress as harmful weren't negatively affected by it. When you change your mind about stress you can change your body's response to stress, helping you cope more effectively.

If you think, “This is my body helping me rise to this challenge,” your body believes your mind and you feel better even though you are experiencing stress.

Stress makes you social. Oxytocin, called the cuddle hormone because you experience it when you cuddle with someone, is a natural anti-inflammatory and helps keep your blood vessels relaxed. It helps heart cells regenerate and return to a healthy state. The pituitary gland pumps it out as part of the stress response. This hormone causes us to become more compassionate and caring. It is motivating you to seek support from others, nudging you to tell someone how you feel. Your stress response is designed to get yourself surrounded by people who support you.

Service to others decreases your stress. Caring creates resilience. When you reach out to others when you are under stress you release more of this hormone and you actually recover faster.

When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage. When you choose to connect with others under stress you can create resilience. You're saying you can trust yourself to handle life's challenges and you can remember that you don't have to face them alone.

When making a decision about what profession to choose think of this: Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort. Go after what creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.

Strength in Numbers

There is strength in numbers. It was empowering to meet with a group of women concerned about our country and the direction it's heading when we gathered to discuss Dr. Ben Carson's new book. 

"Ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, Great Britain, France, and Spain all enjoyed their time at the top of the world, … so to speak, for several hundred years. Then, as they began to decline, they all experienced some peculiar similarities: an inordinate emphasis on sports and entertainment, a fixation with lifestyles of the rich and famous, political corruption, and the loss of a moral compass......

The question is, can we learn from the experiences of those nations that preceded us and take corrective action, or must we inexorably follow the same self-destructive course?"

(--from “America the Beautiful: Rediscovering What Made This Nation Great,” by Dr. Ben Carson.)

We concluded by asking ourselves what we could do to help stop the downward slide of our society. Aside from becoming informed as best we can to vote, maintaining personal righteousness and praying for charity for those who do not share our beliefs, there is really very little an individual can do; but just knowing that there are others who share the same concern was comforting.

Remarkably, we can read in 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon a sobering parallel of prosperity and subsequent fall of a great nation.  3 Nephi BOM

And it came to pass that the people did still remain in wickedness, notwithstanding the much preaching and prophesying which was sent among them. (3 Ne 2:10)

It is no secret throughout the Book of Mormon, that we live on consecrated land and the Lord will not have a people who do not worship him remain here. Ether 2 For that reason alone, it is imperative to share our testimonies of the Book of Mormon with those we come in contact with.

I sincerely pray that our Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson receives guidance and direction from the Lord for the members of the church and that we will have the faith to follow the course through the upcoming years.

Link to book.

One Week - What Would You Do?

We watch movies in twenty minute installments. It usually takes one of us about that long to fall asleep if we ever sit down and get comfortable. A poem for your enjoyment....

Old age and exhaustion

allow the sleep

that every good intention cannot slay

to overtake us,

and we succumb

willingly,

repeatedly.

Last night we finally finished watching a very thought provoking movie called “One Week.” It's about a young man who finds out he has an advanced stage of cancer that needs to be treated immediately. Instead of telling his family about it, he follows the fortune he finds on a coffee cup and “goes west” on a motorcycle and has many encounters and experiences. It reminds me of a book by Richard Paul Evans called “The Walk” that I read last fall during some down time. Very good reading.

Two questions from the movie remain in my mind:

“How do you know if you're in love?” and the answer, “If you have to ask, you're not.”

I wish I had the wisdom to say that when my children have asked me that in the past, but eventually they do figure it out on their own.

The second one would be answered 30 different ways if you asked 30 different people.

“What would you do if you only had a week to live?”

This is particularly poignant to us because of my recent diagnosis of cancer last fall. In the movie the girl responds, “I'd just do what I'm doing now.” and my response would be the same, even having the testimony I have of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I would just do what I'm doing now... Write a silly free verse poem, affirm my faith, and then go eat a scoop of ice cream with my ever so sweet and loving husband. :)