I Stand All Amazed

Photo Credit: Raquel Williams Lonas

Looking through old family pictures, I'm amused at how much better I look in my younger pictures than I thought I did at the time. This is a picture my sister, Raquel, took of me three years ago. Little did we know our hilarious joking about it being my obituary photo would come true! Although it's pretty realistic with scars and wrinkles showing, I only wish I could look this good now that I have chipmunk steroid cheeks and very thin, totally grey hair. Other side effects puzzle me as well. I never know the reason behind numbness, or cramping, or why fatigue washes over me at random times. The interesting thing is I have friends who have every symptom I have and they don't have cancer. It's a mystery... 

My immune system is fabulous though and is keeping the tumors I have from growing and not allowing any new ones to form. I'm so proud of it! I'm so incredibly grateful for those prayers that are offered on my behalf and modern medicine.

Ultimately, I put my hope and trust in God that whatever the outcome is I will be able to endure whatever I need to endure and learn whatever I need to learn. The last time I went to the temple and randomly opened the book, the scripture for me was D&C 99:8

"Otherwise, thou shalt continue proclaiming my gospel 

until thou shalt be taken. Amen"

It couldn't be more clear what I am to do with my time and so I obediently proclaim: 

Repentance is the gift Christ has given all of us and we can use it every day. We can know of His love for us by the sacrifice He so freely gave. The unfathomable depth of that love we can only know once we are in His presence again. Although the process to pass into His presence again might be painful, and possibly long, I trust and fully believe we will live in light and love with those we hold most dear for the rest of eternity. 

Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and I STAND ALL AMAZED at the love He has for all of us!

Click here to watch I Stand All Amazed (5 min)

Warning: Graphic images in the first minute.